The Test
by UndoneChaos
Summary: Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman devise a plan to see whether or not Craig is gay... And guess who has to find out. Smut inside folks, don't like don't read. Better than it sounds.


**Request fic for **_**Pink Bonbons 91**_**. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Oh, jesus…**

"Did you ever wonder if Tucker is gay?" Stan asked, leaning up against a tree and staring out across Stark's Pond.

"Tucker? No. Well, it _would _explain why he's so quiet, I mean, if he doesn't want anyone to know his secret..." Kyle trailed off.

"Yeah, Craig gay. That'd be a laugh", Cartman snorted, turning to Kenny. "What do you think, Kinney?"

"Me? Well, it's obvious that he's gay for Jitterbug. Have you _seen_ the way he looks at that boy?" Kenny smirked.

"Well, I don't know. Hey, you guys. There's Tweek now", Kyle said, pointing across the pond at the blonde twitch ball that was Tweek Tweak. "Why don't we ask him?" he said, looking at his friends.

"Or", Kenny grinned, a devious look on his face, "we could _convince_ him to go undercover and find out?"

"How?" Stan asked, looking a bit more interested than he had the minute before.

"We get him to act all mushy and gay in front of Tucker. It's simple, fags. Even _I_ could figure that out", Cartman laughed, interrupting Kenny.

"Hey, yeah. That'd work. Yo, Tweek!" Kyle called to the boy. "Tweek, come over here!" The blonde boy jumped at the sound of his name, turning to the person who had called it.

"GAH! K-Kyle, is that you? And Stan, Kenny, and Cartman… Oh, Jesus! What do you guys want?" Tweek asked nervously, twitching as he walked around the pond toward the group.

"We wanted to… Ask you a favor. Kind of", Stan said when Tweek had arrived in front of him and his friends.

"L-like what?" Tweek twitched, fidgeting with his shirt.

"Umm, well we have a bet, you see? And the bet is whether Craig's gay or not. So, we need you to find out", Kyle said.

"Why?"

"Because, you're the only one who can! If you don't do it, the gnomes will conspire against you!" Cartman said, waving his hands around frantically for dramatic affect.

"Oh, Jesus! Not the gnomes!" Tweek cried, looking helpless. Kenny tugged down his hood and put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him straight in the eyes.

"Look, Tweekers. Do it for me? Please?" Kenny asked, batting his eyelashes and flashing his infamous McCormick grin.

"What do I h-have to do?" Tweek asked, looking exasperated.

"You just gotta act all gay and seductive around him, like, you know. And after a week, tell us if he's gay or not!" Stan explained, grinning.

"I… I– Oh, fine. Whatever. B-but you guys owe me if he freaks out, he's my only friend! What if he takes it the wrong way?" The three boys expressions pained at this. Cartman just laughed.

"Oh, yeah. We forgot. Craig is his only friend", Kyle whispered to Stan. Kenny nodded.

"Wait, Tweek. On second thought–" Kenny started to say, but was cut off by a fat hand to his mouth. He looked down at said hand and rolled his eyes.

"Bye, Tweek! Check up on us in a week!" Cartman sang, pushing Tweek in the opposite direction.

"O-oh. Ok, see you guys at school. Gah!" Tweek said, and walked away from the boys.

"Piece of cake", Stan said, watching Tweek walk away.

"And by the end of the week, we'll have our answer", Kyle agreed, and the boys proceeded to talk about less important things.

…

Tweek Tweak trudged through the snow, deep in thought about what his 'friends' had told him earlier. "What if they were wrong, and he's not gay? Oh, jesus, he'd make fun of me forever! Oh", Tweek twitched, hugging his arms to himself. "But what if he _is_ gay, and likes me? Then what happens?" he wondered aloud. "Ma-maybe, he'd like me back. But if he doesn't, then I've lost my only friend.–Gah!– Why do I listen to those jerks? They get me every time! Stupid Kenny and his adorableness…" Tweek trailed off, kicking a can.

"Mother fucker! What, is it raining cans today? That is the _third_ one that has come flying at me!" Craig grumbled from across the street. Tweek noticed him and blushed, half about kicking a can at him and half about what he had to do for Stan and his gang. He sighed, and sloshed through the foot of snow across the road to Craig.

"H-hey, Craig. Sorry, that was me", he whispered one he had stopped in front of the noirette.

"You've been kicking cans at me all day?" he asked, looking down at Tweek.

"N-no, just the last one. But I didn't do it on purpose", Tweek said, and then looked into Craig's grey eyes, batting his eyelashes and trying to copy what Kenny did. Which actually, in Tweek's case, looked more like he was trying to seduce you. Although he didn't know that. "I'm sorry", he said, still batting his eyelashes all girly at Craig, who gulped.

"Tweek, are you, um, ok? You look like you're trying to–Well, you know what? Never mind. Why don't I walk you home?" Craig asked, slightly confused. Tweek released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Ok, t-thank you. Hey, do you think we could stop by Harbucks?" he asked innocently. Craig nodded.

"Sure. I'll buy for you, you don't look like you brought any money", he said, doing the closest thing to smiling that he had since he was eight and watching Red Racer or playing with Stripe.

"Um, I–Ok, thank you!" Tweek said cutely, latching himself onto Craig's arms and leaning into him. Craig looked down again, once more curious.

"Why are you acting all…" he said, trailing off in order to find the right word. He couldn't find one, so he just said, "Never mind".

…

Tweek sat across from Craig in Harbucks, drinking his Caramel Frappuccino out of a blue straw. Or, more like half drinking from the straw, half giving it a blow job as he eyed Craig with determination. Craig just sat there, staring at Tweek with confusion and a _little_ bit of something else gleaming in the corner of his eye.

Instead of sitting there, waiting for his pans to tighten until the button popped, he looked away and mumbled something at Tweek.

"Hmm?" Tweek asked, mouth popping off the straw so he could answer the older boy.

"U-um", Craig blushed at the thought of was Tweek was doing to him, but mostly because he had just stuttered, and Craig Tucker does not stutter. He cleared his throat. "What'cha doin'?" he asked. Tweek's eyes widened a bit in surprise, but soon his features relaxed.

"Drinking my coffee, why?" he asked simply. Craig bit his lip, looking for a way to answer that question.

"Just wondering", he said. Tweek nodded.

"Oh, ok", he said, getting up out of his chair. "C'mon, I'll drink the rest on the way home".

"K", Craig replied, getting up out of his chair and walking out the door with Tweek.

"Thank you", Tweek whispered to him once they were outside the store, and then winked at him.

Craig blinked. Did Tweek just _wink_ at him? No, it couldn't be. He was seeing things. He nodded a 'you're welcome' in response and walked beside Tweek to the blonde's home.

…

It had been a few days since the Harbucks incident, and still no sign from Craig that he was gay. Tweek sighed. "Maybe I just have to amp it up a little bit", he wondered aloud, flipping through a flirting magazine and stopping on the article that said 'Is He Secretly Gay? Twelve things to do to find out which team he plays for'. Tweek looked at the article strangely, but read into it a bit more.

**Way #1: Try to seduce him.** Tweek had already tried that, it didn't seem to be working.

**Way #2: Try harder.** Tweek groaned at the article. "I need flirting _tips_, not someone telling me_ to _flirt!"

**Way #3: Ask him. **"THAT won't work, it's supposed to be secretive!" Tweek sighed, throwing the magazine across his room. He leaned down and picked up the next one. Skimming through it, he found an article called 'Ten Ways to Turn Him On'. He stopped to read it.

**1) Suck on your straw. Real hard.** "I already did that", Tweek said to himself.

**2) Suck on your lollipop. Real hard. **"Ok, I haven't tried that", Tweek said, reading down the list more.

**3) Suck on anything. Real hard.** "Well this is getting repetitive", Tweek groaned again, ready to throw the magazine.

**4) Grind against him.** Tweek gulped. That'd be too straightforward…

**5) Purposely fall on him.** "Ok, I could try that", Tweek said.

**6) Wear a mini-skirt around him. **"Now why would I do that?" Tweek wondered. "Well, I suppose I could invite him over and put it on and when he got here pretend that I had been dared to wear it…" Tweek wrinkled his nose. Too complicated.

**7) Bend over a lot.** Tweek nodded to himself and continued reading

**8) Make hot noises while you eat.** Tweek nodded again. "What, like moaning?" he asked aloud.

**9)** **Eat strawberries. This is crucial. Very crucial. **"The fuck? W-why are strawberries– Hey mom!" Tweek called. "Do we have any strawberries?"

"Yes, hon. We have some in the fridge right now", his mother called back to him.

"G-great, ok!" he called, and turned his attention back to the magazine article.

**10) Have fun! **"Ok'', week said, tearing out the article and placing it in his skinny jeans pocket. "Now I just have to call Craig", he said, getting up and pulling out his cell phone.

…

"Hey Tweek, what are you–" Craig blushed profusely as he noticed Tweek. He was currently wearing a little black skirt so short that his butt almost hung out of it. He had a sucker in his mouth and he kind of looked like one of those hot anime chicks with big boobs, but minus the boobs. Now Craig _knew_ something was up

"Hi, Craig", Tweek giggled, pulling the sucker out of his mouth with a pop. Craig stared at him, holding his hand up to his nose to stop the bleeding he was sure would happen if Tweek did anything like bend over or–

Which was exactly what Tweek did.

The blonde had turned around and bent over, faking picking something up. Craig, who was now drooling, just stared at Tweek in amazement. ""Tweek, what are you doing?"

"Hmm?" Tweek asked, standing up. "Oh, nothing. Hey, want some strawberries? he asked, rushing into the kitchen and returning a few moments later with a bowl of strawberries and a can of whipped cream.

Craig's jaw dropped as Tweek took one of the strawberries in his _black nail polished_ fingers and sprayed whipped cream on it, taking a small bite. He moaned seductively, licking the left over whipped cream off his fingers with his small, pink tongue.

Craig sputtered for a moment, looking at Tweek in utter amazement. "Come here, Craig! Or do I have to get you myself?" Tweek asked, slipping from the couch where he had been sitting and walking over to Craig. "Whoops!" he laughed as he pretended to trip, knocking into Craig and falling on top of him.

The blonde boy was now straddling the stoic one, who was blushing like crazy. Tweek giggled again and scooted around, trying to make himself more comfortable and Craig… less. He reached up with a slender finger and traced Craig's mouth with his fingernail, smirking.

"Tweek, holy fuck", Craig panted, eyes glazing over with something that could only be called pure desire and need.

"Oh, just remembered! I have a pie in the oven", he got off Craig and walked into the kitchen. "Bye, Craig!" he said, stopping and waiting for the boy to remove himself from his house. He grinned when he heard a groan and the door shut quickly. "Craig Tucker gay: Check", he smiled, and walked off towards his room.

…

It was the end of the week, and Tweek's hand rested on his phone. He picked it up and dialed Stan's number, ready to tell him his conclusion, when his door opened and slammed shut. Tweek gasped at Craig who was now standing in the middle of his room, grinning a lust-filled grin. Twek dropped his phone.

"C-Craig, what are you–" he was cut off when the noirette walked over to him, pushing him onto the bed. He pulled out black, silk ribbons and preceded to tie Tweek's hands to his bedpost. "Craig, what the–"

"You've been a _very _naughty boy, Tweek", he smirked, now straddling the blonde. Tweek gulped, slightly afraid, but knowing that Craig would never hurt him intentionally. He smiled just a bit, an decided to play along to the fantasy he had been having for a while now.

"Please, don't hurt me. I'll do anything!" Tweek gasped as Craig ground into him, leaning down to bite at his neck.

"It's too late for that, Tweek. This whole week, you've been a tease to me, and now I get to have my way with you", Craig breathed in Tweek's ear. Tweek shivered and nodded.

Craig then removed his shirt and unbuttoned Tweek's, running his hands over the blonde's porcelain skin. He brushed his fingers lightly against Tweek's nipples, making the boy shudder. Craig reached down and unbuttoned Tweek's pants, pulling them and his boxers off before doing the same to himself. "Suck", he ordered, holding out three fingers. Tweek tentatively took them into him mouth, coating them with his saliva. When Craig thought that they were lubed up enough, he pulled them out of Tweek's mouth and positioned them at his hole. "Ready?" he asked, grinning as Tweek nodded. He slowly pushed one of his fingers into Tweek.

"Nng", Tweek grunted, feeling the pain of something up his butt. Craig's lust momentarily washed away to a sense of compassion.

"I know it hurts, I'm sorry", he said, pushing his finger in and out of the blonde boy.

"Ok, you… Can add the next one", Tweek gasped as a second finger was pushed into him, scissoring him. He grunted at the pain, which was slowly ebbing away.

"I'm gonna add the last one now", Craig said. Tweek nodded and Craig pushed his last finger inside the blonde, stretching him.

"FUCK", Tweek said as Craig's fingers brushed up against his prostate. Craig's eyes clouded over with lust again as he saw Tweek's face contort with pleasure. He pulled out his fingers and laughed when Tweek whimpered at the loss. e then leaded over the blonde, positioning himself at Tweek's entrance.

"Ok?" he asked. Tweek nodded and he pushed into the blonde, making him gasp.

"Hnng, ok t-that hurts", Tweek breathed. Craig waited. About a minute later, he looked at Craig, signaling for the noirette to go. Craig pulled out of Tweek a bit before slamming back into him, making his back arch.

"K-keep going", Tweek panted, and Craig complied, ramming back into the blonde.

"You've been a bad boy, haven't you? Teasing me like that", Craig smirked.

"I've been a bad, bad boy. I need to be punished", Tweek breathed, looking up at Craig.

"So bad. I'm going to have to punish you", Craig said, and thrust even harder into the blonde. He brushed up against Tweek's prostate again and Tweek cried out.

"Do- do it again!" Tweek arched his back as Craig slammed into his prostate over and over. "Oh, I've been such a bad boy, punish me!" Tweek cried out as Craig slapped his ass.

"Such a nasty boy. Scream for me", Craig breathed into Tweek's ear, pounding into him even faster.

"Oh, god! Punish me, please! Fuck me harder! I'm such a bad boy" Tweek called out. Hearing these words made Craig spill over the edge, releasing inside Tweek.

"Fuck", Tweek cried out as he felt this, making him release himself. Craig rode out their orgasms, looking down at Tweek.

"Love ya", he smirked, pulling out of the boy. "But _never_ tease me like that again, or this is what will happen".

"Is that a promise?" Tweek smiled, and curled up net to Craig, shutting his eyes.

…

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman were all back at Stark's Pond when a certain blonde walked up to them, limping slightly.

"He's gay", Tweek said, rubbing his ass and wincing.

**I have to go take a shower now. I feel all dirty.**

**GRRG! OK, so that smut was TOTALY rushed, in my opinion. And the end was kinda corny. But I hope you liked it!**

**And whenever I write or read or hear the word thrust, it makes me think of that one chicken in the movie Chicken Run. lol**

**Ciao for now**

–**Chaos**

**EXCUSE ERRORS PLEASE**


End file.
